Thank You Novocain

I have spent a major part of my 28 years in the dentist's chair. I have terrible, terrible teeth. I try to take good care of my teeth and always have. My brother, Juan, would always pretend like he brushed his teeth when we were kids and never had cavities. I on the other hand would brush, floss, use the little red tablets to see where I needed to brush more, swish, you name it I did it and I would have 5 cavities when I went for my check-up. UGH.

Here are a few stories you may find interesting about my teeth escapades:

1. My dentist was always my favorite doctor. He is a nice man who has done the teeth of all of us McDonnells. However, I started getting suspicious as a child that he only saw dollar signs when he looked at my teeth. I told my mom my fears one time after a particularly harrowing appointment in which I had 5 cavities.

2. When my permanent teeth started coming in, we noticed these brown dots on them. So not only did I have to go through the process of having a gap in my teeth from losing my tooth, but when they came in they weren't suitable for viewing. 

3. In 9th grade we decided to deal with this little polka dot problem for real. Enough was enough. So I went to the dentist to get laminates on my 6 front teeth. Because your teeth are still forming and growing until your late teens/early twenties, Dr. Dennis (my dentist) decided to put plastic laminates over the front of my teeth. This was great, except they popped off a lot. So I'd be eating my scrambled eggs for breakfast before school and "POP" one would come off. Luckily the process of getting your teeth ready for laminates is much easier and less disfiguring than what I would later have done.

4. When we realized the plastic wasn't going to cut it, we went big time....porcelain (I don't think I've ever typed that word before.) This was a pretty good alternative although it wasn't going to be a permanent solution. 

5. 2000! I get Porcelain Veneers. It's like I'm a celebrity. Don't mess with me. However if you've never had veneers or crowns you may not realize that in order to put the veneer on, they have to grind down your teeth to where they look like little corn kernels. (There is literally no telling how much my parents paid for my teeth.) So before they put the veneers on, I made them give me a mirror so I could see what they looked like. You may have seen teeth like these during Halloween. I mostly did this because Emily Wood and I laughed about what they may look like. It was not pretty. Needless to say, if one of these pops off I will not be appearing in public. 

6. I only had my front 4 teeth veneered. So my sophomore year in college I thought I was going into the dentist's office for a cleaning. I should have known something was up when they took me in the "heavy duty work" door instead of the "twice a year, no problem you're just getting a cleaning" door. As I sat in the chair, I started panicking. I asked the dental assistant why I was on this side for a cleaning. She told me that my mom had scheduled me to get another one of my teeth veneered. So I decided to get it from the horse's mouth...Kay's. Sure enough, she did it. I think my dismay was all over my face because Dr. Dennis asked if I was mad at him. I didn't speak to Kay the rest of the day.

7. A lower jaw novocain shot shoots pain through my tongue. 

8. My dental insurance sucks and doesn't pay for much of my fillings (Oh, I forgot to tell you that I got 3 fillings today, and have 2 more to get done in November.)

I know this isn't interesting. Unless you're a sadist.