Thursday, January 31, 2008


I think I have found a new way to be famous. You know how on the office Jim just looks at the camera and you know. His looks are just money in the bag. If I were to type something ridiculous and put insert Jim Halpert face here you would know exactly what I was talking about. Well I have taken some pictures that I have to say are looks I often give people. So instead of typing insert ber face here you would have the actual pic of my face to use. I will try to figure out how to make that happen...but for now here they are so you can start requesting them for your blogs and such.

Lyrics gone wild...

Sass is lapping me on blogs so here we go take this Sass! So I go through times where I am just obsessed with albums. My current obsession is David Gray's Greatest Hits, I mean I listen to it all the time...I'm listening to it while I type to you. Here is another fact about me...I'm terrible with lyrics. There is an old school Mariah Carey song that till this day I will tell you that part of the lyrics are "side cameras are feeling me strong", I've been told the lyrics and I don't remember them so just so you know those side cameras are usually pointing right at me.

On to the reason for the blog. I have been listening to the song "Be Mine" of David Grays' and its one of those okay I really think it says this, but no way can I see David singing that, ber no way its saying that. Okay I have to get to the bottom of this. So I have to use my FBI skills because let me tell you every site does not have the complete lyrics but don't worry Ber is going to save the day. FOUND! Okay towards the end of the song I think they are singing "my butt is on fire", now you see why I was like I really can't see David singing that but whatev maybe that happens to him sometimes and he felt the need to put it in his song. Oh no people not at all what he is saying...well it was close. I will leave you with the correct lyrics:

"On fire, my body's on fire, my body's on fire,
My body's on fire, now run to my side, mmm mmm
Be Mine, be mine"

Why I never kept a diary...

When I was still Cute Little Sarah, you might walk in my room at 150 Glenside and see multiple diaries in my bookshelf. If you opened those diaries, you would find they were either empty or only one or two pages were written in.

I've never been able to keep a diary longer than a week, and that's pushing it. In fact, I've gone through some old ones from just a few years ago and ripped out pages and trashed them. Why would you do something like that?

Because I don't want to die and have someone find them with crazy stuff written in them. I think we all think we're a little crazy. What if I can't defend my purpose behind writing a particular post that someone might interpret as nutjob-like? That, my friends, is why I don't keep a diary.

Why do I blog then? Because I have instant feedback (or quicker feedback than after death) and I have to actually edit what I write. It is public. I don't think diaries are meant to be public but eventually they will be made that way.

Maybe I'll journal when I'm going through some significant event, such as wedding planning, baby having, a new move.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I guess I'm not done yet...

I am sitting here watching a Billy Ray Cyrus video on CMT, listening to this high pitched noise coming from my fridge (I think.) It's a noise that I've learned to tune out. For some reason, Billy Ray brought it out.

Have you read this? It's just like the Seinfeld where Kramer couldn't hear Mary Hart's voice without being sent into an epileptic seizure. I think Sean Paul may do that to me. Or maybe it's that damn baby noise that so many people like to put in their song...You know the one I'm talking about? It was in that Aliyah song and has been in others. IT DRIVES ME CRAZY!!!! I actually have to quickly turn the channel when I hear it.

Just so you know, around the end of February you, our loyal readers, can expect lots of tennis posts. Most won't be about tennis, but more about our travails with The Hicks and The Moons. Get ready. Hopefully we'll have pictures to boot!

I think in blogs...

If you read my Xanga, you have read most of this post.'s what you've done to me.

Ever since I was little, I've found it hard to turn my mind off. This occurs especially when I'm trying to get to sleep at night. It once raced with ideas shooting in and out of my head at lightning speed. That's changed now...Now, I think in blogs. I have an idea that pops in my head and BOOM...I'm imagining how I can blog about it. Is this the state we've gotten to? Or is it just me?

On another note...I was hoping to see Adam Levine from Maroon 5 yesterday. I didn't. Apparently I forgot my swerve yesterday and missed the good looking singer. Such is life. I've got to remember to pack my swerve with me when I leave for work.

For the record...Sarah 3, American Idol 0...YOU KNOW IT!!!

Friday, January 25, 2008

Ridiculous church website

Make sure your under the contact/staff page

Really people...I confess Wes found this one so props

An Almost Third-World Mistake

I receive letters from my Compassion children (I've got kids all over this world) not too often. They are both 5 and live in poverty stricken areas so I cut them a break on the writing thing. When I do receive letters, I usually can't wait to read what they say (usually it's from a parent or teacher.)

On Wednesday, I received a letter from sweet Wenderson "Big Shoes" Joseph (McDonnell) from Haiti. I opened the envelope with bated breath. What is Wenderson going to say through his translator/father? I read the letter and in the 3rd line, I stopped dead in my reading. "He is not doing too good."

WHAT?!?!?! What do you mean he's not doing too good? EXPLAIN!!!! The rest of the letter read like a normal Wenderson letter. He's trying to do good in school. He loves his church activities. He likes to play outside. But I couldn't get out of my head that through all of this, my little Wenderson isn't doing too good!

I immediately wrote back on the stationery provided by Compassion. I said my normal.."So glad to hear from you." In my last paragraph I mentioned that I was sad to hear that he wasn't doing too good. What can we do to rectify this situation? Do you need to come live with me for a while? I know that Haiti has gone through lots of turmoil, weatherwise in the past year.

So after finishing the letter, I finished a nice roast dinner that I had fixed for Miss Haley B-Ragg. After eating, I told her about my sad letter from Haiti. I showed her the letter and she said, "Sass, that says 'He is not too bad.'"

Time to write another letter.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Christian is like a cartoon character...

Ricky...Ricky are you KIDDING me. Seriously if I see one more tear...seriously

Victoria you will be missed! Jillian hang on because your good.

Okay and Christian quotes from the night:

"OMG I'm going to die of barfness"

"I feel so manly working with denim"

"let me see booty....oh so hot"

"if I have to see another tube dress I'm gonna kill I can't even stand it I'm going to die"

"my outfits pretty fierce..I think its pretty amazing what I did"

So Far...Sarah 1 Idol 0

I have yet to see anything about American Idol yet, save the classless act of Amber posting a picture of some guy on the blog.

I won't lie. There have been moments of weakness. However, I pressed through. There are many weeks to go. Pray for me.

Monday, January 21, 2008

My Rebuttal

If I didn't love Project Runway so much and believe in it, Christian would be the reason I would hate it. I realize he's good TV, but I can't stand his presence on the show.



I know people either love him or hate him....but you should love him. I mean just watch this video
Ber: i really think we could have a show like rob and big
Sass: berge, we don't even live in the same town
Ber: we're kind of ridiculous like that sometimes
Ber: if we had the show we would
Ber: i mean we can be that funny
Ber: maybe not that obscene
Ber: but that funny
Sass: berge, i don't know
Ber: is this not a good idea
Sass: they have the funds to make it happen
Ber: i think if people saw how funny we were there would be some funds coming in
Sass: people would pay us just to live?
Ber: yah...u know just to make them laugh
Sass: yep, that's how the world works
Ber: livin on the edge
Sass: is that your new thing?
Ber: i can hear bon jovi right now
Sass: isn't that aerosmith?
Ber: HA HA your right
Ber: same diff

The Devil is a Liar

I love these kind of this number 281-838-7412

****call after 6PM

Sunday, January 20, 2008

During all of my television watching whilst I've been sick, I've renewed a childhood dream.

I clearly remember wanting to be able to stick a straw in an orange and get the juice out, just like they do in commercials. It seems easy enough. Apparently, you must use a Florida orange because their rinds are much thinner than other oranges (i.e., California oranges.) I learned that during Sick Days 2008 as well. I think if you find just the right orange, with thin rind and lots o' juice, you can make this happen.

It has to work, they do it on TV and have been for over 20 years!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

So it took a post to find out who my friends really are. No good!

Sass meet Farmer Drew from MISSISSIPPI!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

A Micro-Social Experiment

I've got a bit of a game I'm playing. It's kind of like Solitaire but without the cards. Actually it's nothing like Solitaire, so scratch that.

I'm trying to go through Spring 2008 without watching the phenomenon known as American Idol. I don't want to watch a show or commercial about it. I don't want to hear banter or editorials on it. I will not read anything online or in the newspaper concerning the #1 show in the country, no the world.

I have nothing against American Idol. I have enjoyed the past 4 or 5 seasons immensely. I love people who watch the show and will listen to those who have already won or been on the show. I am just trying to see what effect, if any, abstaining from AI will have on me.

Will I be the same? Will I get more reading done? Will I run out of conversation with people? I'll keep you updated.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Re: Ber's Previous Post

She's not kidding. The only way the Berge stays fully clothed is if the cable goes out. While most people laugh their heads off, she loses her clothing. It got somewhat embarrassing when Hannah and I would bring friends over. Hannah and I area often very witty. Then the Berge starts giggling and it's not long before we're making her go to her room. Don't even get me started about KJ coming to visit.
I'm in a blog blaaahhh as you can probably tell. It's hard being famous you know, but I won't forget about you blog world. As you read before Tennis Season is on starting with the Australian Open this week. Tomorrow there is a match up that well you just need to see. Spadea vs. Stepanek...I mean I might laugh my pants off. Both very much so characters in you can see below

Tennis Season (which pretty much goes all year thank goodness) has officially started with the Australian here is what the Sass and my conversations will look like from here on out...

Ber: hey
Sass: hey
Ber: have u heard of this espn 360?
Sass: yeah
Ber: they say you can see every court at the open with it
Ber: is it on on tv?
Sass: it's a different channel i think
Ber: hmmm bers needs to find that
Sass: i can't imagine how that works
Ber: i know...ha like can u really see whats going on or do you just see little people moving
Sass: sincerely
Ber: did u see that article on santoro
Ber: the harry potter of tennis
Sass: i didn't go to it.
Sass: send it to me again
Sass: oh he's funny
Ber: i can't stand him
Sass: ?
Ber: i think he cheats
Sass: ha...berge, youre such a conspiracy theorist
Ber: mm hmmm
Ber: he does make me laugh, but also pisses me off
Sass: oh berge

Sunday, January 13, 2008

New words that will be frequented by Ber in 08 "sick" and "fierce". Thank you California and Christian


okay so this is not from this week...but in keeping my promise here you go.

and i use a lot of parentheses (((()()()))))

Kay - Tonight Voiced by Sarah

risI was informed tonight (or more made aware) that when I am saying something that my mother (dear Kay) says, I use a certain voice (mostly nasally, very southern) and make a face (perhaps squishing up my nose[?].) This is nothing that my mother sounds like. Kay sounds more like Kristin Wiig's character Aunt Linda from SNL. She uses the phrases "Gaah" and "Oh Brother!" and often asks me (in a nasal, southern accent,) "Sarah, have you seen (fill in the blank with the movies RV, Over the Hedge, etc.)? It is so funny!"

The voice was perfected through my college years. My friends and I have made each of our parents somewhat like characters. We refer to them by first name, have voices for each and overly exaggerate their characteristics (i.e., Kay and Bob are rabid MSU fans. Debbie got sloshed on mimosas at a wedding shower thinking she was drinking just orange juice. Delaine and Donnie just sit on their porch and let their yard boy (a 60 year old man) do all of their work.) These are grossly exaggerated characters, but aren't they much funnier this way?

I think secretly our parents like us having this perception of them. Who wouldn't? I only hope my children mimic me in a high pitched, nasal, ultra-southern accent. It would be a dream come true.


Friday, January 11, 2008

I may be losing the blog war but I'm feeling very fierce

My Fresh Food Dilemma

Dear Chiquita,

I've been eating a good amount of fresh fruit and veggies this week (i.e., carrots, apples and grapes.) I wish that I ate fresh things everyday, and I could get fresh groceries everyday.

But I digress...The point is that I love grapes. The seedless green ones are my fave. I can't handle seeds. However, I'm needing to know if grapes make anybody else's hands smell weird? The odor is almost enough to ban me from the fruit.

Love the headdress,


Thursday, January 10, 2008

A Chat between Future Amazing Race Contestants

Sarah: What are you doing?
Erin: Reading screenwriter's blogs
Sarah: Ber told me to ask
Erin: Why?
Erin: She can't ask me?
Sarah: From Ber - She found all these alarmist online in Bham that were freaking out about the storm and she said she was in Hoover and saw a tornado touch down and some girl responded with "Me too! I'm so scared!!"
Sarah: That's what berge said.
Erin: I was doing that.
Sarah: HICKS!!!!
Erin: haha
Sarah: That's why they shut down schools...because of you!!!!
Erin: No no.
Erin: They were shut down before me.
Sarah: Unreal!
Sarah: America's children are going to be a little stupider because of you.
Erin: I don't carry that particularly large burden.
Sarah: Whatever helps you sleep at night!

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Admission of Guilt

I, Sarah, downloaded the Jordin Sparks song "Tattoo" to my MacBook on 1/7/08. I realize this was a ridiculously strange thing to do. However, if you could take one word out of a song to make it a fantastic one, it would be the word "tattoo" in this one. I realize this would leave the song nameless, but hey, isn't that better than no song at all?
Rob and Big, Season 3 comes on tonight on MTV at 9:30. If you love it, you'll appreciate my reminder. If you don't love it, you will.

Looks like the applications for the Amazing Race 13 were due back in November. Never fear, this gives Hicks and me more time to get a kickin' video application together.


Amazing Race

Maybe you've seen the best reality show on TV? No, it's not American Idol or Project Runway although I will continue to watch those shows. It's The Amazing Race.

Teams of 2 (or 4 in one very unsuccessful season) travel around the world, performing various tasks and challenges in a quest to win $1,000,000.

Hopefully, you'll be seeing Erin and me on a future season of The Amazing Race (when I type those words, I say it in my head in a faint Australian accent because Phil, the host, has a faint Australian accent.) We have set the deadline of March 1, 2008 to get our video and applications ready to send in for the next season. It's kind of kooky. But would be totally awesome.

Imagine it...if you know either of us you know it will be funny. Apparently we both get shin splints when we run. Erin can drive a stick shift. I've got an impeccable sense of direction and took French for 6 years (although that language rarely comes into use on AR) and have Italian lessons on my iPod. We can't lose.

I'll keep you, our loyal readers posted on the process.


Monday, January 7, 2008

Yes, Haley, The Wedding Date.

Jaws is a fantastic movie, although I understand why it feels somewhat out of place in the aforementioned list. Berge, we'll sit you down in front of the tv and make you watch Jaws and the real Tootsie.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Ten movies that I must watch when I find them on the TV:
1. The Devil Wears Prada
2. Oceans 11
3. Steal Magnolias
4. Love Story
5. The Wedding Date
6. About a Boy
7. Love Actually
8. Jaws
9. Terms of Endearment
10. The Break Up

Friday, January 4, 2008

It Is Finished!

I believe my fascination with Reba has passed. It could be because I have seen all of the episodes and each one I see now I've seen before. It could have just been a phase. But I choose to believe that it's because I am sick of a lot of the crap on TV and while Reba's production value may be low, it's value is pretty high. There...I said it. I needed a little more Reba and a lot less Tila Tequila.