A Tight Situation

Laura and I share clothes. It's worked out pretty well so far. She got this awesome dress from J.Crew last weekend. 

So she was away this past weekend and I decided to see if it fit me. So I sauntered into her closet, took out this precious dress and slipped it over my head. It looked AWESOME! It's so cute, so hip, so perfect. I walked around on the balls of my feet as if I had heels on. I turned around in front of the mirror. I'm definitely borrowing this. But there is always a time to take the dress off and get back in real clothes. So I begin to take the dress off but I realize that it's not coming off. I have pulled it up around my neck, elbows over my head and dress suffocating me. Okay, this is going to be tougher than I thought. Keep in mind no one is home. Just me. So I'm not one to give up the first time (Who am I kidding? Normally I give up before I start.) So I pull it back down, take a deep breath and try again. Nope! I'm starting to panic. Who can I call? What if I have to cut this off of me? How do I call Laura while she's in Lexington and tell her that there are scraps of her former dress all over her carpet? What if they don't have another one in her size? CRAP! Try #3. No go. It's not budging over my shoulders. T-R-O-U-B-L-E. I'm now pacing around the apartment, racking my brain to come up with a plan. What if I pull the arms first? Let me tell you, that's not physically possible. So Try #8 comes around and I'm out of breath, my arms are about to fall off and I'm thinking of crying. And then...it slips off. HALLELUJAH!!!!!! It's a cute dress; however, I will need someone around for my safety's sake.

This is not the first time I've been in a situation like this. In high school, I went to look for a homecoming dress after school at McRae's. This cute maroon dress with black flowers called my name. It was cut on the bias so it pulled a little weird. All by myself in the dressing room I pulled it over my head to take it off and it got stuck over my head. Unlike the previously mentioned story, I could not take a rest. It was literally stuck. So I'm thinking that I'm going to have to start screaming for someone to come help me get this stupid dress off. Not to mention that I literally am having trouble breathing. 

Note to Sarah: Wear only zippered, buttoned, elastic clothes. You need some sort of give.

Young @ Heart

I just finished watching Young At Heart and let me say, "Please watch it!" It's elderly people. It's rock music. It's awesome. There is a 92 year-old British woman who is just precious. I believe she said that she used to do strip-tease. She's quite the flirt and just hilarious. I cried a little bit, laughed a lot and feel inspired.

The Chronicles of Ber's Non-Dating Life

So I don't date much, but I must say I'm kind of okay with that. Maybe strange I know but I'm kind of like I only need one good one so why waste time going out with everyone that walks..ha. I have had some funny moments as of late. I guess when your single and 26 these things happen...

On with the stories...So I go to a family event and my Nanny and the other older lady are chasing me down the entire time to tell me about this guy on staff at their church. I'm like omigosh I can't get away and obviously not desiring the awkward date. Well a friend of mine starts describing this guy that she has been set up with and I start realizing he's on staff at a church and put two and two together and its the exact guy my nanny and the lady were trying to fix me up with...we laugh of course.

Then I go to eat after church with my girls and I go to the bathroom and come back and there are a couple more waters and I ask who they are for. Well before I left for Africa friends of mine were trying to set me up with this guy and it never happened, I don't think he knows this. One of the extra waters was for that guy. I had to laugh.

Last story of the night...I get on a plane Fri. going from ATL to BHM, short flight :). I end up sitting between a man and a guy my age. The man puts the little arm separator or whatever you call it down...the guy does not (T RUBLE). So we start talking, he asks me my age among other questions. Then we get to the am I attached question. He loved the Ber, unfortunately the Ber did not. So I politely said I was attached, not really a lie if you know me :) ha well maybe so. I'll leave that a mystery for the readers. Then we are walking and he is walking to go to his car and I have to get to baggage claim. So he had talked earlier about getting my email address and didn't so I thought I was off the hook...not so much. I start going down the escalator and he looks down and says hey heres my email address...me still going down and he throws me his card. Obviously I didn't catch it, so awkward. So he tells me he'll come down, I then wait to receive the business card. And we're done.

I often wish people could be a fly on the wall during my dating awkward times...fun times. Maybe you will get to be there for my next story :)

If you want your team to win, ask me to be for your opponent. Inevitably, the team I am for will lose. It's in the cards. Just ask MSU, UGA and UF. Teams could use me to put a hex on the opposition. 

On a different note...I am keeping the Kelley kids tomorrow afternoon. I plan on teaching them something awesome. 

SNL needs to step it up. It's not been super funny. However, Tina Fey does a great Sarah Palin. On the money. I mean, even if you are a huge Palin fan you must admit she's got her looks and voice down.

I am going to be watching Young at Heart tomorrow. It's the documentary about the senior citizen group who sings rock songs.

The Bad Boy of Ballroom is BACK!

Thats right ladies and gents Maks is back. I could not be more excited. I think I fell off the couch when I realized it. I will say tho they need to swap partners or something so that he can dance with Toni Braxton...helloooo perfect.

A bad case

I've got a bad case of the borings. My life isn't boring but my conversations are not That's What She Said appropriate. They would probably bore you and wouldn't be humorous. It's more of a Journal I Never Kept period of my life. So, Berge, you are going to have to keep up this blog in my humor drought. I'm thinking of heading to the doctor to see if there's a balm or a pill I can take to get my humor back. That said, here's a list of things going on...

1. I joined the Y. I guess that means that I'm over my endorphin allergy. I'll admit it. I've been lazy my whole life.

2. I went to Walgreens the other day and got stuck on the candy aisle. So after slamming back a whole box of MilkDuds, I'm now on to my LemonHeads (one of my faves) and successfully giving myself an ulcer (or canker sore, for you weirdos.) I also bought two bags of candy corn. 

3. There is a gas shortage here in Nashville and the white trash has emerged from every citizen of Music City. Fights have broken out. Lines of cars filled with people who don't need gas have formed in front of almost every gas station with a drop of gas. It's pretty much ridiculous. I refuse to give in. So until I am under a quarter tank, I'm not filling up. Suck on that, Nashville!

So I know that Oprah has power in this world. However, if I didn't know before just now, it was just confirmed. On a commercial for Sunday's Emmy Awards, the announcer said, "With a special appearance by Oprah." In a show that is sure to feature tons of celebrities (and I'm sure if you weighed enough of them at once it would sum to at least a ton...granted, it is Hollywood) and Oprah, who is probably nominated for a category or two, is making a special appearance.

Damn...why couldn't I have been born a poor girl in Kosciusko, Mississippi?

glorious fontanky

Okay I have no idea if I spelled that correctly but Fontanky was the last place we lived in this summer at Alabanza. We both sound awful because we were both sick with TB, the flu...seriously who knows but here is a tour of our lovely room

fierce

I'm sorry I had to...ohhhh Christian how I miss you. No really i MISS YOU. PS I'm only on like the 3rd episode of this season...NO SPOILERS!

(I must give credit where it is due. Thank you, Erin Moonie!)

I grew up with a secret dream. Since I was little, I have loved The Muppets. I believe my grandfather, Macky, was the one who instilled the love of these adorable, and sometimes horrifying, creatures. John and I would wake up on Saturday mornings to watch Muppet Babies. I would sit for 30 minutes without moving while The Muppet Show was on. There are pictures of my 2nd or 3rd birthday party that was Miss Piggy themed. I got a Miss Piggy Big Wheels. Awesome. I love the Muppet movies. I could go on and on...don't forget Muppets from Space.

I have always wanted to be a Muppeteer. I'm not even sure if that's what it's called to be a puppeteer for Jim Henson Productions. But it's a dream. I don't want to brag but I am a pretty good puppeteer. Just ask my high school church friends. I can show you the proper technique of puppeting. Give me a stuffed animal and I'll make it sing.

Anywho...on Monday, Erin showed me this website comparing the lovable Christian Bale to the even more lovable Kermit the Frog. Go check it out here.

Here is one of my favorite comparisons...

Isn't he cute? Kermit, well...and Christian.

Are shaved heads in??

So this summer I saw or met multiple girls with their heads shaved. Not like bald but like Natalie Portman. Is this in now? I mean you have to be a special person to pull this off. I can sort of understand if your a missionary and are taking bucket showers, I mean I feel your pain. But your sort of limited. I'm just wondering if this is totally in and I didn't get the memo.

September Playlist

American Clouds - Paper Route
Are We All Forgotten - Paper Route
Beating My Heart - Jon Mclaughlin
Empty House - Paper Route
Float On - Modest Mouse
So Close - Jon Mclaughlin
Spiralling - Keane
Wait for the Final Leaf to Fall - Paper Route
You Kill Me - Paper Route
Don't I Hold You - Wheat
I Met a Girl - Wheat
The Call - Regina Spektor
This is Home - Switchfoot
Home - Michael Buble
Be OK - Ingrid Michaelson
Crazy - Jem
U Want Me 2 - Sarah Mclachlan
You Are the Best Thing - Ray Lamontagne
Someone to Save You - OneRepublic
Leavin' - Jesse Mccartney
Better in Time - Leona Lewis
Happy in Love - the Bridges
Iris - The Goo Goo Dolls
This Woman's Work - Kate Bush
Open Your Eyes - Snow Patrol
Take a Bow - Rihanna

What musical genre are you?

So for my book club, I'm reading Cash by Johnny Cash. He talks about what brought country music about. He mused as to if people are now writing music (and listening to music) that is about them, or if they are trying to be like the music they write (or listen to). So it got me thinking...What genre of music am I most like? Surprise! I'm mostly emo! What the crap? I figured pop, possibly vocal (thinking Celine or Yanni) but emo? Okay.

  

  

  

Which genre of music fits you created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Emo Your a little emo kid! You like to cry and let out your emotions. You listen to bands like My Chemical Romance, The Used, Dead Poetic, and Silverstein. You completely love tight pants and tight shirts.          Emo          54% Pop          46% Classic Rock          29% Rap/Hip-Hop          25% Metal          21% Punk          13%

P.S. I don't know who any of those bands listed as emo are, except for My Chemical Romance, and I don't know what they sing.

Past the Point of No Return (of Serve)

Today I got beat. Not just barely...B-E-A-T. Jana and I went to Granny White Park to hit some tennis balls back and forth. Nothing serious, just for fun. 

Then li'l miss competitive (JK) asked if I wanted to play a set. This would be my first competitive game. She serves first and I go up 0 - 30. I'm feeling good. Then she wipes the court with me. Broke me on every serve. It (sorry Kay) sucked. At one point I told her that she was seeing why I never got past the learning part of a sport. I don't like losing. I said it. 

But what have I learned? I now know that I have a goal. I'm going to start small. I just want to win a game. Next goal? I want to win a set. And finally? I want to beat the crap out of Jana Kelley. MWAHAHAHA. Kidding...well, sort of. 

Defining point of the set? When Jana hit me. She aimed right at my torso. What a punk!

(Disclaimer: Blogger cannot be held responsible for harsh words typed after a loss.)

DoBeDoBeDo - September's Music

Kyrie - Mr. Mister

Real - Goo Goo Dolls

I Don't Have Anything - VAST

No One's Gonna Love You - Band of Horses

4 Minutes - Madonna (feat. Justin Timberlake)

Taking Chances - Celine Dion

Infinite Night - Carrie Rodriguez

Let Go - Natalie Grant

The Valley Road - Bruce Hornsby

Beautiful Wreck - Shawn Mullins

I'm Amazed - My Morning Jacket

Boys With Girlfriends - Meiko

Live for the Sounds - Brooke Waggoner

Midnight Parade - Will Hoge

So What - Pink

Just Between You and Me - Lou Gramm

All We Are - OneRepublic

Special - Wilshire

I LOVE SPORTS!

Cog Dog said she needed a new blog post. I've had a few blogs in my head from this weekend. Most are not meant for TWSS. 

So let me let you get a glimpse of my life. I grew up a child of two Mississippi State graduates. My brother and I are in MSU outfits (football and cheerleader, respectively) from the time we breathed real air. I understand some people don't understand our love for our alma mater. I don't know any differently. Strangely enough, most of my friends in Birmingham are not sports fans, which is something that took getting used to. So here I am, bleeding maroon and white all my life. I have had season tickets since graduation. I tailgate with my friends before each home game. I LOVE COLLEGE SPORTS! 

So Bob, Kay and I decided to spend our Labor Day Saturday daytripping to Ruston, Louisiana. It was here that we would see Mississippi State lose to Louisiana Tech University (ugh.) That's not the point, although it suc...I mean stunk. 

Here are the notes from the weekend:

1. XM Radio is AWESOME! Especially if you are a fan of college sports, or good music. Case in point, we listened to great SEC football games the whole way to the game. On the way home, Bob and Kay were being pretty quiet so I decided to try my hand at XM. If you don't know, the radio display tells the artist and song title. So I turned it to 80s on 8. What song came on? George Michael's I Want Your Sex. CLICK! 90s on 9? Salt-N-Peppa's Let's Talk About Sex. CLICK DAMN IT! Clear as day, lit up for all to see. I quickly turned it back to 50s on 5. This was also after Kay saw that one of the songs I was listening to was Animal by Def Leopard. She asked if that was "that heavy metal". She thinks anything that isn't gospel is heavy metal. Except for Eric Clapton, as she later informed me.

2. Berge says I am the epitome of class. I have 3 blisters on my right hand from ringing a ridiculously large cowbell for 3 hours Saturday night. I tried band-aids during the game that were no help. I took one for the team. Upon telling Ber how I got my blisters, she said "Classy" which I took as a compliment.

3. Bob is now wearing shorts ALL THE TIME! It's like he's just now discovered the latest fashion trend. As I drove up to the McDonnell house, Bob stood on the front porch holding Jack (the rat terrier with a new york accent). I gave a double take because I didn't recognize him with bare legs. It's an oddity. 

Non-weekend related things:

4. For the past 3 months, there have been 3 apples sitting on the median as I turn off of Old  Hickory onto I65 South. They have not moved and looked like they were withstanding the elements pretty well. As of last week they were still there, however it looks like mold has finally taken the apples. I figure that one of the many homeless people (I guess they are homeless) who stand at the intersection were given apples by a passerby.  But really, who wants apples when you can get lettuce (cold, hard cash.)

5. We are going to see Man on Wire at the Belcourt this week. This is my interpretation of the documentary: Some crazy idiot wants attention in the 1970s and ties a rope between the World Trade Center buildings, gets a long pole and struts across it. It's going to be AWESOME!

6. I go to NYC in less than two weeks. I hope I see Whitney there. I hope more that I see that model she met in tonight's episode there. YOWSER!

That is all. Kind of boring, but at least it's something.