Saturday, January 2, 2010

The Best Fortunes in Town

I don't believe in fortune cookies. Let me be clear...I DON'T BELIEVE IN FORTUNE COOKIES.

Recently my meals featuring Chinese take-out have brought a surprise (I'm not talking about the Moo Goo Gai Pan.) I order at this place right around the corner. It's fairly cheap and super convenient. I order the #5 and #D1 (not just #1...that's just 1 egg roll.) China King has never led me astray.

But I digress...I have never been a fan of the actual fortune cookie. They are like stale Grandmother's cookies. You know, the kind that old people think are sweet but really taste like cardboard to those with the sense of taste.

Also, I've found that I've never really received an actual fortune. Just because you give me my lucky numbers and a Chinese word with pronounciation doesn't make you a fortune. Don't even get me started on the sayings disguised as fortunes. I've found that most fortune cookie fortune writers are just watching reruns of 80s sitcoms.

"Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road and back again."

"As days go by, it's the bigger love of the family."

"Rain or Shine, all the time, we've got each other sharing the laughter and love."

Not those who sell their wares to China King in Nashville, Tennessee. My recent cookies cracked open to reveal very time specific aphorisms inside.

My last 3 fortunes read as follows:
1. Remember three months from this date! Your lucky star is shining.
2. Seek friendship and you will find someone special this month.
3. You will spend many years in comfort and material wealth. (Not so much time specific but still an actual "fortune."

How about that?

(One of my roomies, Haley, opened her fortune cookie last night from China King to find no fortune. 2010 does not look promising for B-Ragg.)

5 comments:

Unknown said...

After three dinners and three fortune cookies with NOTHING inside I began to doubt if I had a future. Fortunately that was late 2007.......

Did you use floss or tape today?

Sarah Stephens said...

I think I'm going to be flossing at night. At least that is what I did on Day 1 so I might need to stick with that.

Unknown said...

Tom keeps reading me your blog posts and they make me laugh so I'm finally visiting you myself! Love the Snuggi post! Happy New Year!

Becca Studdard said...

Believe, Sass. Jerry got one at Peking telling him that promising new career opportunities would soon open up. Got a call from State Farm the next day. So don't forget your friends when you experience that material wealth.

Anonymous said...

Don't you wonder what this kid's fortune cookie said?

http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/asiapcf/01/05/china.chop.stick.kid/index.html

-AR