Is this the movie about math?

Wednesday night, Hales, Marky Mark and I scarfed down some Baja Burritos in the parking lot of Hollywood 27 Theatre. We hastily ate because A.) we were hungry and B.) we were in a hurry to see Nine (the movie.)

It's an all star cast filled with Academy Award winners and all-around awesomeness.

Daniel Day Lewis - The Italian Film-maker (You cannot go wrong with this kid. He is incredible!)

Nicole Kidman - The Muse

Marion Cotillard - The Wife

Penelope Cruz - The Mistress (blugh)

Kate Hudson - The Journalist

Judi Dench - The Friend

Fergie - The Duchess...I mean The Whore (really, that's what she is)

Sophia Loren - The Mother

You'd think with a cast like that, you have an instant hit on your hands. Well, I'm not going to say that I hated it. I didn't hate it. I enjoyed myself. I love a big movie.

But here are my qualms:

1. The music (sans 2 songs) was not very good. The lyrics were lacking originality. They used them too much to be narrative. And frankly, you're not going to catch me driving the Civic down Old Hickory Blvd singing "My Husband Makes Films".

2. I couldn't figure out what nationality people were supposed to be. Here you have all of these actors who are from all over speaking with accents that aren't their own. Frankly, it messed me up.

3. I cannot stand Penelope Cruz (as an actress.) This probably started with Vanilla Sky, which I hated. It's that voice. Ugh. And I don't think she sang her own song. And she plays a mistress. I mean I know someone had to play that part, but I wouldn't have automatically disliked the character if say, Kate Hudson had played the part. I would have disliked it automatically if Scarlett Johannsen had played the mistress. She and Penelope are both on my "do not watch" list.

4. I don't know where the name of the movie came from. I know it's based on a musical "8 and a Half" or "8&1/2" or "8.5" but I just don't get it.

What it has going for it:

1. DDL - He is one of my all time favorite actors. Ugh...so good.

2. It takes place in Italy which is beautiful, what with it's villages situated on mountainsides overlooking crystal blue waters.

3. Fergie is really good in it. I'm not even sure she speaks, only sings. And yes, she plays the Whore.

4. There were some really great performances. Judi Dench was good as always. Kate Hudson has a phenomenal voice. Nicki K. (I call her that because she sat by me at Whole Foods one Sunday lunch) was great in her very small role. Marion Cotillard was fantastic and believable.

Would I recommend this? Maybe. You should probably see it in the theatre. I don't think I would want to watch again. I especially won't get the soundtrack.

Here's a trailer for your viewing pleasure (not for innocent eyes,)